Set The Table

“Early on, you’re excited for firsts,” my friend & mentor John told me recently, ” first steps, first day of kindergarten, etc. Then one day you begin to be excited for lasts, last diaper, last day of elementary school, then last prom dress.” That struck me as right, but also a problem. We always seem to be waiting for the next thing, the forthcoming stage, whatever is to come. So that we forget the middle. That is, the place where we are, the present.

Maybe the present is lazy. Dreamers think of the future, right? To paraphrase RFK, dreamers think of things that aren’t and ask ‘why not’? That’s all about the future. A reflection on the present that leaves it lacking. I subscribe to that. That makes sense to me. But what I’m thinking is, let’s enjoy wherever we are.

Remember being 12, and you just couldn’t wait to be a teenager? Then it seemed an eternity until 16 and you could drive a car. When will 18 come, and you can go to college, move out into your own place, vote? Soon you’re living someplace new, for the first time, and- yup- 21 looms out there, your first legal drink. College graduation, you’re thinking of a career move in the future. You get the idea. Yet what would you give to go to your 13 year old self to say- just enjoy 13. It’s not so bad.

Tomorrow I have a big new start. If you’re interested, you can read about it here. 17 years I worked for the same firm (4 different names, but basically same firm). Am I excited for the change? Absolutely. I’m ready. But I’d like to take a second and think through the aspects of what I’m leaving that have meant a lot. And that’s easy- the people.

First, for 15+ years my father and I worked together, daily, engaged in the struggles, decisions, triumphs, failures, and successes that came with running our business together. It wasn’t always like that: I started at the bottom, so to speak, packing a freezer bag with samples and calling on restaurants- whichever ones would agree to see me! Eventually we came to a place where we were managing together, which ultimately was the most fun. For at least 10 of those years, we must have spoken on the phone every single day, averaged out, probably an hour a day. Wow. And not just quantity, but quality- we made nearly every decision together. Business and personal decisions. I never would have gone to graduate school without his believing that I could.

Secondly I think about the people I worked with, non family (or as we say in our family, “not blood”) but who became family. Rick, who reported directly to my father, than me, for 23 years. There’s not much we haven’t been through together. Brenda, who for 5 years was able to anticipate everything I would think up, do it, and then when I called to make a suggestion, she was able to say “I just finished doing that”. Bob’s bright laugh, talking football with Lee, seeing Maria’s daughter grow up.

But I’ll get to see all those people still. So we’re still in the perpetual middle. Which I’ll try to appreciate as much as possible.

Many dislike change. I thrive on it. If I’m driving someplace often, I”ll try and take a different way as often as I can. I like seeing new places, meeting new people, learning new things. Yet when my 17 year career in the foodservice sales and marketing agency business (same firm, multiple names, owners, and roles) came to an abrupt end after a brief 2 minute phone call, it wasn’t exactly the change I had in mind. And yet, after the shock wore off (a few minutes), I told my family in as calm a manner as possible (another few minutes), it actually felt…great. Free. Invigorating. Now, I’m not advocating getting laid off as an appropriate method to get yourself reinvigorated, but…that’s what happened to me. Now, I realize, as I hope you do- that my real job is not to hawk food, but to take care of my family. So as little a change in employment as possible is probably the best path to take. But I didn’t have that luxury.

After reflection, though, it occurs to me there are a few great things about finding oneself in such radical change.

1. Change rewires your framework. Doing the same job, even with its various tasks, emergencies, people, etc, day in day out- not to mention for 17 years- wires your brain a certain way. Your perceptual framework is fairly set- hard as you try to change it yourself, the leaves start to change and instead of saying to yourself “ahh, Autumn”, you think “foodshow season”. You sit down at a restaurant table and first thing you do is check the sugar packets to see which distributor services the account. Radical change strips out some of this wiring, not so much the habits which, as they say, die hard, but the assigning of meaning to certain events. To paraphrase “The Princess Bride”, these events don’t mean what you think they mean. This is good. See the world differently.

2. Thus you are challenged to see yourself differently. You’re at a cocktail party, you meet someone new, you say “hi, I’m a food broker”. Really? No, that’s something you do, not who you are. Unless you’re a nun or shaman or something. I have good friends from way back that are famous rock stars now. I had the chance some time back to spend time with them again after 20 years. Know what we talked about? Our kids. Our lawns. Old times. Just like regular people who haven’t seen each other. They’re genuine rockstars, but it’s not who they are just what they do. This applies to you, rockstar, food broker, lawyer, HR professional. (I hope not to get nasty grams from Nuns. I’m sure this probably applies to you, too. I just couldn’t think of a better example…)

3. Therefore you see the world in a new way. You’re different, you’re framework’s different. So’s the world. Cool, huh? You can do whatever you want. People have asked me “what would you like to do”. To which I reply “be a well paid hand model”. Not in the works. But write the great American novel? Why not. Travel? Sure. Start a business servicing some new market completely outside your comfort level? Go for it. Liberating.

Now, I have a pretty good idea where the next step in my career path will be. I look forward to confirming, and announcing on linkedin (if you’re not, please link to me www.linkedin.com/in/taylorcrown). But, suspense aside, it doesn’t involve writing the next great American novel, traveling the world, or starting a new business. But that’s not the point. I love dealing with great brands, in the food and consumer packaged good space. By taking a different road to your office today than you did yesterday is not THAT great a shift, it’s not like you’re teleporting rather than take the car, but you’ll notice new stores, new housing developments, little nuances and details about your environment that you otherwise wouldn’t taking the same path every day. It’s just a new framework. But a change in framework will be a welcomed change, indeed.

Stay tuned…